gift exchange

I just unloaded a whole lot of negativity towards gift exchange in a conversation with one of my closest confidants. It's not really the typical anti-materialistic animosity towards the holidays many people profess to have this time of year. Though I certainly share those sentiments, I've got another bone to pick with this season. 

You see, I've been accused of being an old Ebenezer when it comes to the holidays. I love the idea of Christmas--the festivities, the time with family; but, I have a difficult time with gift exchange. Giving the perfect gift is fun. Getting something you like is fun. But the pressure of communicating what you want, and the process of unwrapping it in front of a group of people is almost unbearable. Then there's the whole futility factor: the word "exchange" itself literally expresses the nullifying effect of giving something only to receive something else. If allowed to, the whole process becomes just another holiday formality.

It's said that gift exchange is supposed to be some type of symbolic expression to commemorate God giving us Jesus, "the first gift of Christmas."  Our culture has sentimentally conjured up this thing we call the "Christmas spirit," centered around overt generosity and, in many cases, an expectation of reciprocity.

I have trouble seeing the symbolism.  My problem with it is that the whole notion of "exchange" implies this thing of reciprocity. Often, receiving a gift from someone without having something to give in return feels awkward; until a gift is given, there is an outstanding debt to repay.  It can be very subtle, but I'm sure many people can relate.

I understand this is coming across very cynical, and I know that there are many of us that don't treat gift-giving this way.  Plenty of people see Christmas as an opportunity to bestow love and generosity, and really do not expect anything in return.  But I'm guessing there are a lot out there that do see it as a true exchange--giving and getting all at once.

And that's what I'm trying to point out here.  Our practice of gift exchange is an impure symbolic representation of what happened at Christmas.  God did give us a wonderful gift, and His only expectation was that we accept it.  Having received the gift, to now scramble to try and find something to give back is at it's very core faithlessness.  It's trying to find another way to God besides Christ.

Maybe this is a fruitless rant.  In truth, if we call what we do at Christmastime something other than "exchanging" gifts--say we just call it "giving" gifts--all of the sudden the symbol retains it's original meaning.  I suppose there's an argument to be made that I'm just splitting hairs here.  But it's worth asking myself how I view the practice.  What do I expect in return for my gifts?  If I do expect something in return, how is my celebration at Christmas symbolic of Jesus?   

Humbug.

Jeff