When I was in high school and college, I was what you might call a recluse. I did my best to ignore other people, and I only dealt with them when I had to use them to get something done. Sound a little selfish? Yeah, it does to me too.
So as I mentioned in the last update, I've been making more of an effort to spend time with people, and not just for favors. I'm discovering the most difficult part of this is the time constraint. The simple reality is that there is never enough time in a day to say and do everything that really needs to be said and done. There is never enough time to finish the conversation, or complete the thought. Time is the ultimate constraint. So how do we maximize under this constraint?
I've been studying the Synoptic Gospels (Matthew, Mark and Luke), and learning a little bit about how Jesus operated his ministry. It's kind of fascinating to note that this man--God himself--picked just 12 people to really pour his life into. It speaks volumes to the value of relationships that Jesus would have chosen to give so much to so few. Why didn't he take the time to meet and greet everyone on the planet? Wouldn't that have made it easier for us to believe? I mean, how hard would it have been for God to get everyone in the world together at some gigantic worldwide conference, show off a few miracles, shake everyone's hand (or give them a hug if that's their thing), and just call it good? Not hard at all, I wouldn't think.
But that's not what he did. Instead, he sent a man to us--someone who shared the burden of human experience, and someone that worked with his disciples on a personal level. He didn't spend his days trying to meet as many people as he could. He got a few guys together, and lived life with them. These are the relationships he focused on. Jesus dealt with the time constraint by multitasking. He just hung out with his crew. I love it.
This argument has the potential to be taken to the extreme. I could, for example, use it in it's purest form to convince myself to stop meeting people and caring about them. For example: I won't have time to really develop a meaningful relationship with him anyway. . .why waste the time? Or, I'd really like to listen to her problems, but she's not "one of my 12," so I'm really not obligated to.
It's definitely something to watch out for, especially for those of us that have the tendency to withdraw from people anyway. I think the thing to remember is that developing quality relationships with people in one's "circle of influence" is the really just the best use of time. This doesn't mean leaving others out, it just means starting with what one has: start small.
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
