What I noticed most was the waning frequency of the posts. It's amusing to me, because the blog has become exactly the opposite of what I had envisioned in those first weeks, and has in many ways, shared the fate of thousands of other blogs whose authors couldn't quite keep up with them. I comment on this not to apologize for or explain the lack of consistency; I'm really just fascinated to observe my attitudes and opinions within the last few years.
Particularly in the last 18 months, I have been subjecting myself to one of the most intense, exhausting probes to date into my beliefs. I tend to be a bit skeptical, so life (and maybe faith) naturally takes a bit more work for me. Some of you out there with similar personalities can appreciate that; I'm definitely used to this, and I expect it from myself and can often compensate. But I'm not quite sure even I was ready for the level of questioning I threw at myself. Maybe when I look back on this period of my life I'll see the fruit of it all, but right now, a year-and-a-half into it, I feel unbelievably tired.
So, when I read posts with a "pt. 1" in the title and no pt. 2 follow-up, and when I sense the shift in tone from colloquial and friendly to cold and academic, I have to chuckle a bit, because I know the backstory. I've felt a bit like a math student, who has always accepted as given the operations and theorems behind some of the most basic mathematical truths, and now has to prove them.
I thought mentioning these things might give some context to the blog. The message on Fathers' Day caught my attention because Doyle brought up some interesting points on questions and doubts that I found a little encouraging in the midst of this big project I seem to have on my hands. If you have some time and want to listen, you can find his sermon on the church website, entitled "Storms of Life" dated 6/19/2011:
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